So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
