He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
