I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
