apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize