I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you had me at cake vodka
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
