i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
