if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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