hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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