I just threw up on my dentist
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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