okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
