i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
