part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
