He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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