All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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