i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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