I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
