why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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