I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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