I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
