Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
