You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
