Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
