I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
