If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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