Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
