My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
