No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
