i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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