If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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