I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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