Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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