your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
there is puke in my bra ... again
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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