Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He better not be in your backpack
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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