The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
