hell yes lets make some ravioli
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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