Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
