I can tuck mytits in my pants
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
