Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
