If i come over, it means nothing
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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