My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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