Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
