we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
