Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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