Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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