so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
