O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
