He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
