so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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