i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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