ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
