She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
